Rewind to Berlin early 2018. I was living in the heart of Berlin (Mitte) in a beautiful, quite expensive apartment, had the latest iPhone, worked in a high-fashion store and got to go to every event that as going on. I just decided to get my hair cut to a short bob with bangs that complimented my sophisticated yet edgy look and cared about nothing as much as I did about my outfits. Luckily I was already into thrift shopping back then so it was somewhat sustainable but still my hunger for consuming fashion and shopping was driving me. Most days, I'd wake up and think to myself "mh what can I do today to make me happy? Oh, going to this store or going to that store" It was pathetic. I also spend so many hours on my phone, stalking instagram and texting people are didn't really connect to deep down or people I thought were bad for me but I held on to them because it was the only thing I had left. Also, in Berlin it's a small world and everyone knows everyone so once you're part of that scene, it's kind of inevitable to see certain people. You meet the same people over and over again. It's just a different party or location but same old shit. Everyone just goes for the free drinks and to be seen, take some photos for instagram and then leave.
22.12.2018 Gold Coast, Australia.
For weeks now, I've only had an old iPhone 5 with a screen so cracked you can barely see anything on it. The parts where the glass has fallen off are covered in sand from all the time I spend on the beach. Haven't got my hair cut in 3 months and do not care about the new Balencidaga shoes. In fact, I've turned to working for a brand that has the majority of their clothing made in India and supports fair pay and women's rights. The silver jewelry is ethically sourced and the suppliers have been in a long-term business relationship with the company. I do live in a very cute beach house which is a guess a luxury but then again I've had spent weeks in hostels and dorm rooms, sleeping in bunk beds. And you know what's funny about it? I am happier sleeping in a bloody bunk bed with 10 other people in the room than having my own perfect little princess apartment in the hip district of Berlin. Life works in mysterious ways.
As for my phone, in Berlin I would have gone CRAZY. I'm talking losing my mind without a properly working phone. Now I don't really give a fuck.
That was because back then I was miserable on the inside but dressed to the nines on the outside. I was so dead that only materialistic items could fill the void within me. Or rather they couldn't. Literally I had nothing that made me truly happy so I tried to make up for it but going on a hunt to buy new stuff I thought I needed but what I really needed was to get my soul right.
Yes, I still love me a cute outfit but it's not the foundation of my happiness. I could go on about the different people I met here and back home but that would a different story. Let me know if ya wanna hear it.
